Why are any of us here?

Without which no future posts would have photo confirmation.

Today the saga seems to be coming to a close.  I had confirmation that I (mostly) got things right in the facebook album and (probably) won't be in any trouble for my shenanigans. And I got a new phone!  Which is a weight off my mind and felt like as good a time as any to try and get you all to move from my Facebook and Twitter (and oddly enough, Pinterest) over to my blog.

What can you expect on this blog?  Well it is without particular categorization - not exclusive cat videos or adorable things my kid said, and it's not all adventures my phone goes on (but if I start to lose readers I'm not above having it stolen again at say IBM or PepsiCo and posting the hilarity that ensues there).  I think mostly it will try to be a humorous look at the way my day has gone and my trying to right the wrongs of the universe. So expect a lot of:

Tirades about people who don't use their blinkers!
What's the deal with airport security?!
and
Look at this video of my kid talking about a cat video!

So feel free to poke around here for a little while.  There are a few older posts and a couple of other pages of truly compelling info on me and FAQs.  I'll give you a taste here so you know what's coming.

Q: Are you going to friend Nelson on Facebook?
A: No, but if he friends me I'll totally accept.

Q: Did you get your phone back?
A: XXX the a XXXXXX! XXX to XXXX is to XXXX XXX XXXXXXX XXX.  XXX are XXXXXX be XXXX, XXXX.  (Response redacted by law enforcement).

Q: Do you care about anyone but yourself?
A:  Of course!  Write me and I will respond, unless you're a dick.

Q: Will you ever take a Disney Cruise again?
A: My kid has already booked her next three spring breaks on a Disney cruise and will be studying under the Disney Princess fellowship this fall.

Of course, if I'm being honest then 99% of you are reading this because of the Facebook album "Stolen iPhone Adventures."  That's fine, maybe I'll be the Bobby McFerrin of comedic commentary on the internet so every 15th post I'll repost the album with one or two new photos or as a slide show set to new music, just so I can bask in the sweet sweet attention again.

So, without further ado, here is the album, plus one eye-patched pirate skull.

This is Nelson.  Nelson has my stolen iPhone.

This is Nelson's Girlfriend.

Apparently she works in the spa.

Nelson likes to take photos of buildings in Mexico with stolen phones.

He also likes to take photos of Cabo San Lucas.

...and his super cool friends.

These are some of Nelson's friends and crewmates on board the Disney Wonder.

Here are some more of his friends...

...gosh they look like a cool group of folks...

...very chill.

Here's the dining room that Nelson likes to eat in.

Here's a bird Nelson needed a photo of.

And here's a beautiful sunset Nelson had time to capture, all on my stolen iPhone.

Nelson also likes to party!  And who's that?  Why that's the co captain of the Disney Wonder!  Sure looks like they had a swell time.

Uh oh.  Nelson's girlfriend does not look happy with him.  I understand the feeling.

Maybe she saw him pose with these two pirate hookers on board the Disney Wonder.  No denying it Nelson, that's your name tag, isn't it?!

I guess she got over it though...

...and went on to celebrate with him and the rest of the Disney Wonder castmembers and my stolen phone.

Cheers to you Nelson!

You are a modern day pirate, like this lifelike skull they have on a family cruise.

And cheers to you Disney Wonder whom Nelson loves enough to photo-document his entire life with, using my stolen phone.