Detachment Parenting

With last month's now infamous Time Magazine article (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2114427,00.html) the term and philosophy behind Attachment Parenting has reached the main stream, but it has been one lobbied about parenting circles for years. 

The 8 principals of attachment parenting are:

1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
2. Feed with Love and Respect
3. Respond with Sensitivity
4. Use Nurturing Touch
5. Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
6. Provide Consistent Loving Care
7. Practice Positive Discipline
8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

A friend of mine recently found herself spending most of the summer solo parenting while her husband is out of town working a production. As babies, she wore her truly lovely kids around, nursed 'em, no drugs birthed them, co slept, and organic fed them.  She is one of those moms that would be nice to not like because she's doing it better than you, but you do anyway because she's a smart ass.  This was one of her recent status updates:

So for her, and all you other amazing parents who are ready to have the kids like you a little less, the 8 principals of detachment parenting are:

1. Prepare them for LIFE.  Let them know at every opportunity just what the future holds for them like the sure demise of social security, the lack of jobs (let alone dream jobs) out there, mortgages.  I like to show my kid her birth video.
2. If the kid can reach a snack on their own, they don't need you to get up from Pinterest to get it for them.  (*Key to this is to make sure they can also open it on their own, no thanks to you Trader Joe's Crushers)
3. Be vaguely disinterested in everything they discuss.  Ask "what?" a lot like you're only half listening or you just have bad hearing.  They'll lose interest soon enough. The opposite should be used if your child is over 13.
4. Insist they wash their hands before touching you or other things in the house.  No child willingly washes their hands and definitely not with soap.  The side benefit to this is they'll mostly want to play outside and that's actually good parenting.
5. If a child insists on sleeping in your bed tell them bed time for your bed is actually an hour earlier than bed time in their bed.  Then prove it by going to sleep earlier and earlier every night.  Win Win.
6. Get a great babysitter that lets them eat jelly with no peanut butter and no bread - "bowl style" is how we call it here.
7. In my experience practicing any kind of discipline will turn them off.  I do like to ramp it up by threatening to throw pretty much everything in the garbage if it's not picked up.  I do this so often other parents threaten their kids with me coming over and throwing away their toys too.  I'm like the anti tooth fairy.
8. Offer to watch TV with them, but then insist on it being grownup sports or HGTV because "it's not a school day for you either!"  Again, this gets them to play outside so you really are being an excellent parent.

Did I miss any?  Let me know, if you have any other excellent ways to get these kids ready to leave the nest, even if they're only 4...